“Sayang yung career mo!”
“Hindi mo dapat ginive up yung trabaho mo!”
“Edi nasa bahay ka lang niyan?”
“Umaasa ka lang sa pera ng asawa mo.”
These are some of the most hurtful yet stupid lines I heard from people when they knew I chose to become a housewife as of the moment.
I am a very hardworking woman. Actually, my life when I was still single was career-centered. It is also the fact that I love my profession, TEACHING. However, everything changed when I started to have my daughter in my life.
After giving birth to Viannah, I wanted my CS wound to heal as fast as it could because I was thirsty to go back to teaching. I admit, I felt worthless when I stopped working. The reason behind that was I want earning my OWN money. I have this PRIDE since I am the eldest *legally* in the family. I grew up being the head of my family… a BREADWINNER. Going back, I got what I wanted; I got hired in a prestigious school in Cavite *or is it premier? Lol*. I really did miss teaching. At the first month, I exerted my best, as I always do, to pursue my job. Then, it changed. Since the one taking care of my baby is also busy with a lot of things, I felt extremely worried for Viannah’s health and safety. Since then, my feet would always want to go home as soon as I could just to make sure Viannah is okay *you know, mommy feels*. That school year (2015-2016), my husband’s and Viannah’s health were always not in good shape. We were always at the EMERGENCY ROOM of MCI and even travelled to OSMAK so that we could save thousands of pesos *we are Yellow Card holders*. My health was not okay that school year too compared to the past years I was teaching. Monthly, I would have severe sore throat that almost lead to an operation of my tonsils.
Also, there were times that I didn’t like what I was seeing and what was happening to my daughter. It alarmed me so much.
When the school year was nearly ending, I decided to take care of Viannah, FULL TIME. It pains me, yes, because I do not like to leave work, but I need to do it for the sake of my daughter. When you already have a child, you would always think what’s best for your daughter FIRST before thinking of yourself. Also, it made me decide to become a full-time mom easily because of the fact that MY MOM DID NOT DO IT FOR ME.
I grew up with no mother not because she’s physically dead but because she did not do her responsibility as a mother to me. She would always think about herself first. And, I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME A MOTHER MY MOTHER HAS BECOME. I thought of the best days I have with my daughter and used those memories to motivate me to stay at home and take care of my daughter and my husband.
They will grow up so fast, you wouldn’t notice it.
This is what experienced mothers would always tell me. Children grow up so fast not even noticing that one day, they will learn to leave the house on their own and they will have their own lives.
Yes, Viannah is growing up rapidly. She’s 1 year and 5 months old already. It’s just like I gave birth yesterday. I can see a lot of changes in her body, actions, and personality. Soon, she’ll be a pre-schooler already. I can imagine myself preparing her baon and she leaving the house to got to school. I wouldn’t be with her for almost half the day of more since I’ll be going back to work by then *sniff*.
“Madali lang naman maging housewife kasi nasa bahay ka lang naman.”
THIS IS A VAST MISCONCEPTION!!!
Being a full-time mom is as exhausting as working… even more exhausting! We, moms, work 24/7 without any day-off! If you think it’s easy, why not try it yourself? That’s why I am calling all HUSBANDS out there; DO NOT MAKE YOUR WIVES FEEL AS IF THEY ARE WORTHLESS!!! We, housewives, are doing everything for the family, too! We need your support too! And yes, we need a PAMPER DAY. Just treat your wives a mani-pedi or hotoil treatment at the salon or shop for her and it’ll be greatly appreciated! 🙂
In my case, I can say it’s a challenge. Since we decided to go back to Makati, slowly, we are transferring but could not leave Cavite yet because of a situation. As what I’ve mentioned earlier, I like earning my own money so I looked for a sideline, TUTORING. However, I found a tutee in Makati which is one of the reasons why my daughter and I stay there on weekdays. Aside from that, we stay in Makati because OSMAK (Ospital ng Makati) is nearer; this is a government hospital where we get free service *you know, in case of emergency*.
Anyway, what makes it hard? That fact that I am always on my own. On weekdays (M-TH), we stay in Makati. And every Thursday evening, Viannah and I travel to Cavite to see my husband, and every Monday morning, we travel back to Makati. I bring a heavy backpack, two more bags on both my shoulders, Viannah wrapped in my arms and if it’s raining, I need to carry Viannah with one arm because my other hand will be used to hold the umbrella.
To add, buses going to Cavite takes half an hour or more to pass through Buendia or Emilio Aguinaldo Highway. So, I have to carry everything on my own for that long. It’s like I am to hike a mountain for weeks with the heavy load I am carrying. It is also difficult for me to ride on a bus and walk through the very narrow aisle of the bus *you know the buses here in the Philippines*. That’s why I always thank those bus conductors who assist me. I cannot NOT come home to Cavite because it breaks my heart when Viannah would cry DADDY when she misses him. People ask me why are we the ones going to Cavite and not my husband. The answers are: 1. there are times that my husband needs to report on a Saturday; 2. no one will do his laundry there except HIM; 3. it’s the only day that he’s able to rest *I mean compared to me, he doesn’t get enough sleep*. But there are times that he’s the one going to Makati especially when he’s free from too much work.
What do full-time moms really do at home?
I have to admit, I barely do sweeping, mopping, wiping the furnitures… in short, I barely do the cleaning. So what do I do at home? Well, first thing in the morning, after I fix the bed, I prepare Viannah’s breakfast. I’m lucky if there’s bread. I just put stuffing and TADAH! Instant breakfast. But it’s not the preparation that’s hard, it’s the eating process. With Viannah running, touching everything, etc., 1 bread takes 15 minutes to finish. Lol! After that, I wash her feeding bottles and sterilize it. Then, I do a little bit of sweeping and mopping *not everyday though*. Then, I prepare ingredients for the viand I cook. After so, I’ll cook the rice. Going back to the bottles, after sterilizing it, I’ll put water on each bottle and refill the milk container. Did I mention? I fix the bed a zillion times because Viannah loves destroying its order *face palm*.
Lately, during meal time, I make Viannah eat first so that I have my full attention to her. She’s super duper likot (naughty) already!!! Lol! After so, that’s the time I eat my lunch. Then, I wash the dishes.
After so, I give her a bath *good thing she loves taking a bath so it isn’t hard for me to make her go inside the bathroom*. However, the struggle is after her bath; putting on her diapers and clothes. She runs away from me and she lays down on the bed and doesn’t want to stand up to wear her pull-up diaper and clothes. So, I have to pull her up from the bed until she finally stands up and wear her diapers *wew! trust me, it’ll make you sweat*.
After her bath, I make Viannah sleep *her siesta time*. And, believe me, IT’S NOT EASY!!! We will need to get through tantrums, tears, and all those BABY DRAMA! Nevertheless, there are times that she sleeps on her own, but most of the time, she would want to sleep with me patting her thighs or lightly scratching her head *you know, babies… but, I love doing that to her! :)*
In all fairness, I am able to nap when she naps, too! This is one of the perks I have; I can sleep twice a day but it depends on the task I have at home. If I’m not taking a nap, I I take a rest by watching TV, browsing and posting on social media, or here, blogging.
Viannah usually sleeps for an hour or two. When she wakes up, I give her meryenda (afternoon snacks). Then, I, again, prepare for dinner; chop the ingredients, cook the viand and rice, and set the table so that when my husband comes home, everything’s prepared already.
After dinner, I wash the dishes *sometimes bulky ones because of the kalderos and other cooking materials I used*.
But, it doesn’t stop there; I still wake up during dawn to give Viannah milk and change her diaper *she cries aloud at dawn*.
WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?
My point is people should STOP discriminating housemoms! It’s simply like this, become one and you’ll know what I mean; what we full-time moms mean.
WHAT ARE THE PERKS?
The perk is not all about money; IT’S ALL ABOUT TIME. I have been spending time with my daughter and that’s the most important thing in the world for a mother to do when their child is still a baby. I tell you, IBA TALAGA KAPAG ANG NANAY ANG NAG-ALAGA. She barely gets sick and she got even more healthy. Yes, I admit that I get mad at her when she gets into my nerve, however, it’s really part of parenting.
I get to see EVERY MILESTONE of her baby and toddler life! I was there when she first talked, crawled, stood, walked, and all her firsts!
And, the MOST important thing, I am making her feel that she has a mother beside her. I never felt that with my mom. All I felt was that my mom is an enemy because of how she acts whenever she was with us. I can’t even remember the days she took care of me. All I can remember was that it was really my dad who did all the mommy duties that my mom was supposed to do. Even up to the point that I got pregnant, she wasn’t there for me until I gave birth. It was my mother-in-law who guided me all the way to the day I gave birth; even up to now. If you guys can text your mom and ask, “Ma, paano ba gagawin ko sa nanak ko? Nilalagnat”, “Ma, natataranta na ako.” and all those never-ending questions, you’re lucky. I haven’t got a mom to ask. Well, on the positive side, I have two dads and a mother-in-law who are ever supportive *I LOVE YOU PO!!!* This is why I am trying my best to become a MOTHER to Viannah. I am not perfect; not even close to being a perfect mom. But, the only thing I can permanently say is that I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY DAUGHTER. I am and will always be present during her happy days… especially the days she’s and she’ll be blue; that’s when she needs me the most.
SPEND TIME WITH YOUR DAUGHTER’S CHILDHOOD DAYS.
As what I have mentioned above, THEY GROW UP FAST. Play with your child. Make her feel her childhood. Enjoy the days she hugs and kisses you. Cuddle her. Sleep beside her. MAKE TIME FOR HER. Make her childhood memorable with you. 🙂
IS IT WORTH THE SACRIFICE?
YES!!! Definitely worth it.
I can still pursue my career when she starts studying already. I can still pursue my dreams. I’m just 23. I can still reach my goals in life. But, if ever I lost the opportunity to become a full-time mom to her? I can never bring back those times. I don’t want, in the future, to hear from Viannah that I never had have time for her nor would I like to hear from her that I never became a mother to her.
Well, so much for this topic. For all full-time mommies out there, stand and be proud!
Hindi lang tayo HOUSEWIFE LANG.
We are also doing a job… a noble job! So, stand up and be proud!
I would also like to SALUTE all single moms out there! I’m lucky because I have a husband to support us which is why I am able to become a full-time mom. But for those single mom who works and at the same time, take care of you child, wow, BE MORE PROUD!!! You’re a HERO!
I am not a single mom, but I understand your situation because I have close friends who are. I witness their struggle. The more that you are to be proud!!! Show people that being a single mom would not stop you from being the best moms to your children. BE STRONG! I super duper salute you!!! 🙂
Thank you for reading and dropping by! Tune in for more! Add me on Facebook | Veeh Narvaez-Batario| or follow me on Twitter and Instagram| @veehgil022.
CIAO for now! *kisses!*
MOMMY VEEH. ❤